He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Success! We fucked roommates!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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