I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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