Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
