Barsexuality is the new black.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
