I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
