Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So apparently I’m into choking now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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