He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
That accounts for only three of the penises
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
