Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We got so high we made milksteak
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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