just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
