Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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