i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
