Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
