girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
