capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
