i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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