I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
