My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
