do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So. Much. Porn.
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