i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
