do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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