Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize