We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
