We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
