bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
