So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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