is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
