I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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