This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
