he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
