shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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