Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
