I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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