i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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