The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
