We need to rekindle our bromance
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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