why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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