Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
