So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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