Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
