I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize