I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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