i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
