this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
