Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
