Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
