i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She needs sedatives and a leash
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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