You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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