whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize