He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
