I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize