i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
