if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
the raccoons are back...
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