And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
