I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
