And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just high enough for therapy.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
