May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
