I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
