I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
