The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
