She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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