Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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