Please, let me fuck your mom
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just blew my weed a kiss
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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