I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
