my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
