the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
