Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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