you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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