i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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