The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
