Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
