I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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